Beware of Beeping Lesbians
Devon was bringing in her groceries when she noticed the new welcome mat across the hall from hers. She was surprised someone had already moved in -- she thought the building folks were still cleaning it up from when the last people moved out earlier in the week.
She was just unlocking her own door when her new neighbor opened hers.
“Oh, hi,” the young woman said. “I thought someone was knocking, but I guess it was just you.”
“Hi, there,” Devon replied, putting down a bag and shaking the woman’s hand. “I’m Devon.”
“I’m Shannon. I just moved in.”
“Well, let me know if you need any help or need to borrow anything...like...tools. I have tools. For instance.”
A few hours later, Devon was still trying to figure out how she ended up kneeling on her neighbor’s floor in front of an armoire, realigning the drawers. She was surrounded by tools and the shelf and entertainment center she had already put together for Shannon and her friend, Erika, who was staying with her until Erika’s apartment became available. Devon also learned that Shannon’s fiancé would be in town soon.
Devon sighed and went to the refrigerator for yet another beer. “You guys need any?” she called out to the girls.
“Sure!” they both chimed in. They were trying to hang pictures, and Devon had a feeling she would be working on that next. If only one of them was sober enough to make sure they ended up straight.
Devon handed them their beers over the armoire.
“You know, I’ve never even kissed a girl,” Shannon suddenly -- and quite unexpectedly -- said.
Peggy J. Herring
“Never?” Erika asked.
“What?!” Shannon squeaked. “You mean you have?”
“It’s a rite of passage in all college dorms. What planet are you from?”
Devon nonchalantly began to whistle as she ran her stud finder along the wall, looking for the safest place to try and hang another picture.
“Well, my college roommates were totally unappealing to me,” Shannon said in her own defense.
“What about when you were a kid?” Erika asked. “You never kissed another little girl? Or practiced kissing any of your friends in junior high?”
“Well, what’s wrong with you?” Erika asked with a laugh.
“Nothing. Maybe I’m just not as curious as you are.”
“Hey, you’re about to get married,” Erika reminded her. “You should make the most of it before tying the knot.”
“Are you suggesting I have a fling with a woman?”
“A fling? No. A kiss? Yeah. Why not?”
Devon couldn’t stand it any longer. “Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
The two women looked over at her.
“Beep, beep, beep, beep,” Devon said again.
“What the hell are you doing over there?”
“My stud finder keeps going off.” After another swig of beer, she was brave enough to say, “It does that around a good lesbian kisser.”
Laura DeHart Young
Devon moved the stud finder closer to Erika. “Beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeep. Oh, my. Looks like you’re the lucky one,” Devon said to Erika with a wink. “Whoops. Now, wait just a minute.” Devon played as though the stud finder was pulling her in Shannon’s direction. “Beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeep, BEEEEEEEEEEP. Well, what have we here?” Devon looked Shannon directly in the eyes. “You’ve got to be the best lesbian kisser in the room. Devon’s stud finder never lies.”
Shannon turned devil red. “Okay, so I’m the one who lied. I have kissed a girl. Well, quite a few actually. I just wanted to see your reaction.”
“Care to try again?” Devon asked bravely – her courage fueled by one too many beers. “That is, if you think your fiancé wouldn’t mind one innocent kiss.”
“Well, that was sort of a fib, too. Erika and I aren’t really roommates. I mean, we are but we’re a little bit more than that.”
“Yep,” Erika agreed. “And I don’t mind you kissing Shannon, so long as I can watch.”
Devon laughed. The two had used their feminine wiles to lure her into an intriguing situation. “And I’ll bet you guys even have tools. A whole closet full.”
Shannon caressed the tops of Devon’s ears. “We have tools, honey. But not the kind you’re thinking of.”
“Beep, beep, beep, beep. I love this thing,” Devon said, pointing the stud finder at both women. “But something tells me that the rest of this evening is going to be one big…BLEEP.”